My neighborhood

The sun never visit my neighborhood much those days there was no rainbow no pot of gold when the rain finally decided to slow down it was more like dark clouds and thunderstorms kinda like a hurricane that always landed in my neck of the woods snow storms and blizzards that always came knocking at my door.I dreamed that my prince charming would one day capture me and take me far away on some island were I can look up at the sun and ask him why he never visit me An island where I can rest upon the sand and enjoy every moment instead of regretting An island where I can let down my hair and feel the cool breeze as it flows through my hair An island where I can swim in the prettiest blue waters instead of the water falls that flowed freely from my eyes.I dreamed that my prince charming would protect me from harm not introduce me to him I always wanted to feel safe when I was in his presents but it didn't work that way I felt more safe when I wasn't in his present......

13 Chapters

Sex was not an option in our home it was his way and his way only some might call it rape but to him it wasn't I was his women and he could have sex with me when ever he wanted to that's what he use to tell me.There were so many nights where he forced himself on me I remember lying there thinking to myself "is he ever going to finish"I spent so many nights in the shower til I would fall asleep I hated for him to touch me I hated just being around him there were nights where I thought if I fake an illness I would be OK for the night that he would let me sleep sometimes it worked while others times it didn't On one occasion I was tired of him forcing himself on me tired of him using my body just tired of being tired I stood up and shouted no more! no more! I can't do this anymore! it has to stop am tired I can't go on any more! he looked at me then walks to the closet pulls out his hand gun that he kept on the top shelf pointed it against my head and told me to "shout the fuck up bitch! that's my pussy and I can have it when ever the fuck I want"he pushes me onto the bed placed the gun on the pillow next to my head.He then removed my clothes from that moment on I closed my eyes and prayed to God .. :(

13 Chapters

I went through hell and back with this man We were never married but I did my part held the family down even stood by his side through countless women that had come between us Like most couples we had our share of ups and Downs somehow our bad out weight the good.I had let this man break me down to a point where I tried to commit suicide by taking a bottle of pills as he stood there not trying to stop me.I must have blacked out because when I finally came through he was standing over me looking down on me he's words then were"Next time use a gun dumb ass that would do the trick you dumb fuck" My relationship with him was never Physical abuse but more like mental and emotional abuse words can hurt just as bad but you just don't have the scares to show.On the night of me taking the pills we had got into an argument over something so stupid I call my mom to ask her to see if my father would come over to get me because ? was upset and things wasn't going well in the house.I though parents were suppose to protect her child no matter what the situation is A child should feel that her parents are her safe haven Not for me, because my mom told me to stay and work it out see how things were in the morning.I couldn't believe she said those words to me In the back of my mind I had so many mix emotion about what had just played out What if things had went to far would she blame herself would she carry the guilt of me calling her to say something was wrong would she carry the guilt if I didn't wake from the over dose.There were so much that went on behind close doors that went unnoticed things that I never spoke about til today ? was once a loving man did his part and took care of me but somewhere along the way we lost each other I always feared that I would die by his hands that he would be the one to take my life he would sometimes tell me that If I every come up missing that my parents could find me on the railroad tracks with a bullet hole in the middle of my forehead.I use to tell my mom if I was to every come up miss have the police look at ? I even told her the location of a local railroad track to where my body might be.

Crazy Side Kicks: Silent Cries

Crazy Side Kicks: Silent Cries

My cries for help often went unheard I began to think was Mr Villain telling the truth about me being a misfit child about no one wanting me that no one loved me but him. I knew deep down inside it wasn't true or was it I left so many clues for my parents to pick up on but those too went unnoticed I remember when my mom would bath me I would point to certain parts of my body and say "Mom it hurts" she would often say "Stop wiping so hard when you pee" she never even cared to investigate what was going on down there even when she would often find spots of blood that was left behind from my Auntie boyfriend not washing my underwear well enough she would mistake it for me not being to clean.How could this be happening to me how could someone do all those things to a child Was God punishing me for something that my parents had done Still so many questions remain unanswered some of my classmates took notice to my behavior some ask question some just ask was I OK but the sad thing of it all is that my own family couldn't see the pain in my eye's they couldn't see my grades dropping they failed to see the weight dropping  just as well as me covering up my body in layers of clothes in 85* degree weather there were so many times I would pass out because of heat stroke but it didn't matter all was said to me was "drink water girl its to hot for you to go with out water"Damn it hurts like hell for me to sit and watch my family be so blinded .They failed to ask why why was I wearing 2 pairs of jeans 5 panties 2 shirt I just thought that if I wear a lot of clothes when it was time for Uncle Evil Villain to have his way with me by time he got to me taking off clothes someone would come but that trick soon came to an end cause Uncle Evil Villain had punch me so hard in my leg that I could barely walk (he would often hit me in places that clothes would cover he's marks) it didn't matter cause I would walk in the room in the nude just so my mother would take notice to the marks and ask questions but all she said was" You got to be a little more careful when you play! people are going to start thinking your being abuse" at that moment I though it was all over but my wishful thinking was soon shot down by the ringing of the house phone and mom walks away God how could she be so blind how could she not see all the signs that are there right in her face was it all true was I really the misfit child no one wanted and everyone pretend not to see what was going on with me and what he was doing to me I had to face reality that my life as I knew it was over no matter how much I prayed to God that he was never going to send someone for me that there was no one out there that could save me from my life of hell and I mean NO ONE!!!

How could a young child go though so much in her life I was 9 yrs old when my aunt's boyfriend started to have he's way with me I remember him coming in to the bedroom as I lye in bed He walks over to the bed pull the sheets back place one hand over my neck and the other over my month and tells me I better not scream or he would kill me there was so much pain down there I remember crying but nothing came out I could feel the pressure of the hold he had on my neck he began to kiss me in places at that time I didn't think was kissable I was getting sick because the room started to spin and get dark I tried my best not to fall asleep but the spinning of the room had me fast asleep.not sure how long I had slept but when I awoke everyone was up and Mr Evil Villain had already left for work as I worked my way to the table I stumbled from the pain in between my legs grabbed myself down there because it hurt so much my auntie said "are you OK" I wanted so bad to say no but I didn't want to die if I told her what he had done to me After breakfast I went into the bathroom to wash and get dress I notice there was blood in my panties by this time the pain wasn't better I remember sitting on the floor in the bathroom for the longest time til my Auntie knock on the door...knock knock knock .. Kimberly your Uncle needs to use the bathroom hurry it up in there girl he's got to be back to work in 45 min its his lunch time he ain't got all day child.What he's doing home he never hardly comes home for lunch did he come home to kill me because he thought I might have told my aunt.I began to gather my things I open the door there he was standing there I tried not to look up at him but I did as he look down on me he placed his hand over his neck as if he was choking himself then pointed his finger at me I ran so fast into the bedroom hide in the closet little did I know he came soon behind me He lied he never even had to use the bathroom it was his way of getting to me The bedroom door closes then the closet door closet its so dark in here not sure where he's at I mean I know he's here cause I could hear the hanger's hitting the floor then all of a sudden I feel him rubbing he's hands down there again The warmth of his hot breath whispers in my ears "Listen here you little bitch you better not say a word or I'll kick your ass then kill you do you hear me Kim? I said nothing "Bitch I know you hear me am not going to say it again you better keep silent about this you hear? The pressure he had on my neck got harder as I couldn't speak I shook my head yes.When he was done he went off  into the bathroom as if he was never in the closet with me and my auntie never took notice to his long stay in the so called bathroom....