Who could it have been...

I've came across so many obstacles in my life so many bumpy roads dead end roads it seems as if am going in circles like a marry-go round am just waiting for someone to stop the ride so I can get off then I realize its just me alone on the ride no one can stop it its up to me rather I want to get off or continue down the wrong path "the road to no where"I got to stay focus got to pull it together..... There have been people who have come into my life for all the wrong reason there have been people who have come into my life for the right reason no matter what their reasons where they all taught me a lesson in some why.Then I have to take a step back and ask myself "Is this what I really want" Is this the road I really want to stay on" maybe I should stop turn around go back pull over and rethink " but it seems as though I've lost my way there's no way out I've been driving in circles I've come to a dead end road I see this old man so I stop to ask him for direction he said"My child your going the wrong way God See's and hears you he knows you want to do right he's just waiting for you to turn your life around so he can guide you its all up to you so choose wisely" So the old man points for me to go the opposite direction I had come from still I'm unaware of my surroundings as I look in my rear view mirror I realize the old man is no longer stand there I'm thinking where could he had gone in the middle of no where for that matter where did he come from could it have been my guardian Angel protecting me,prevented me from going back down the same road I had come from...

Introduction of Kelly

Kelly, who is she is she misunderstood or is she someone with a story waitng to be told I kind of think im a little bit of both.Misunserstood I have to say there where times in my life were people just took me for granted they just took avantaged of my friendship I was a giving person always looking out for others.There are some people like my family and close friends of mine that look at me everyday and never knew what went on behide close doors they look at me with this smile on my face and all they see is a happy person they see someone thats full of life full of energy but what they really don't see is this isn't a smile its a frown thats mistaken for a smile cause I try to hide the unhappniess full of life not really cause if you haven't really lived your life how could you be"full of life" full of energy no not really im worn my body is in overdrive.A story to tell sure everyone comes with a sad story thats waiting to be told the only problem is finding someone that is willing to listen and really understand where you been or going.I've been blogging for almost a year like most I come with a story better yet 2 stories thats waiting to be told my 1st story is Silent cries a story about a young child that had been rapped repeatly by here Aunt's live in boyfriend no matter how many cules she give no one picks up on them this is her way of gettin people to notice something is wrong without really telling cause shes afraid she will be killed but the many attempts she gives all had failed so her cries goes unheard  story 2 Crazy side kicks is a story about my life with a pro baller some people think that side kicks are nothing but gold digging women but that wasn't the case here I had no idea this man was a football player I wasn't the type to watch sports and to this day im still the same really don't watch much sports sure some baketball players I will know (only a hand full but not many) Dee and I had fun together we still remain close friends I will always love him because he was the one person that kept it real with me he had no secrets he came with no secrets at times I wish I would have done things diffrently meaning Dee wanted a stay at home lady but I loved my job just as much as he have for football I didn't want to totally rely on Dee to care for me I wanted to know that if Dee would get hurt playing what he love so much that we would be ok that I would be able to stand on my own caring for us but he didn't see it like that our realtionship ended but we still remain close after Dee and I ended our realationship I got involved with a man that came with many secrets he wasn't the man I once knew things had got bad to a point where he would rap me if I said I wasn't in the mood for sex... I kept that part of my like private afaid of what my family would say afraid of how people would look at me...but one day reality hit me and thats when I got out of the relationship I think if it wasn't for Dee having my back and God guideing me I wouldn't be the person I im today...Im single living my life back home in Cleveland ohio waiting on Mr right the real Mr Right to come resuce me while getting My 2 books in the right hands I want to someday publish my stories let everyone know that all side kicks are not gold diggers.

Silent cries

Dreams should be sweet and pleasant something you would want to remember and some you want to forget. Dreams for a young child shouldn’t always be nightmares. A young child shouldn't have to be afraid to fall asleep knowing if I closed my eyes something bad would happen. I realized that you can have nightmares even when you’re awake. No matter if I was awake or sleep something bad always happened to me. He didn't care what I was going though or what he was doing to me all that mattered to him at that time was him and only him.Why did I have to live in the same world as this evil person how come I couldn't go be with God, at least I knew I was going to be safe at least I knew God wasn't going to let anything or anyone hurt me or bring harm to me. My own parents couldn't give me or they couldn't even protect me from the pain that Mr evil villain was putting upon me so why would I want to stay with them They had already let me down just as the teachers that over look the marks on my legs during gym class the doctors that over looked the marks on a young child's breast the marks that went unnoticed on my thighs as well as my neck from the strong hold he had on me so I wouldn't scream the pain that I had whenever i sat down from him entering me in places he shouldn't had were they all in on this with him or did Mr evil villain tell them to that he would kill them if they told what he was doing to me.As a young child I had so many mix thoughts going on in my head as to why no one wanted to help me why no one wanted to protect me so I gave up on life gave up on everyone that was in my life, why not , they  had given up on me since I was 9 yrs old when all my nightmares started to happen.No one seem to care about little old me I cried so many times from the pain but I was often sent to bed until I felt better I was never going to feel better as long as Mr evil villain was alive I would cry myself to sleep forcing myself to stay awake so I could protect myself since no one else came locking down these walls that kept so many secret But I had no strength to take him down he was much to strong for me so most of the time I would just lie there silent crying while he did what he did cause if I let out any type of noise while he did his business that's when he would grab my neck until the room would spin and I would be fast asleep. when I awoke he would be gone that's when the pain would come from where he would have done his business In some crazy way i think that was the best part of it all" Him having that strong grip on my neck so I would go to sleep" I just didn't want to know what was going to happen next  All i know is i just wanted it to be over but in some way I had hope one day he would hold just a little stronger then my life would be over I didn't have to worry about him hurting me anymore...