Holding It Down

When Dee's past came back to haunt him things at that point seem to not go right for him at this point he had a lot to deal with but the media didn't make things better "As if they do anyway" facing a 6 mth jail term let alone being traded to the Dolphins wasn't easy.I started to rethink my relationship wondering if I had made the right choice as far as coming into something that I wasn't use to but I thought long and hard and realized that we were in this together and it wouldn't be right to leave after all he had done for me.As me being his lady it was only fair for me to stand by Dee's side and ride the roller coater relationship out because I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride so I decided to stay for the ride.Dee did his best to protect me from his troubles the only time his problems were in plan view is when he would ask if I be by his side when he had court appearances but still he did his best to protect me from the media a true gentlemen he is I will always love him for that like any relationship we had our ups and downs but the good always out weight our bad I guess that's why we stayed as strong as we did When Dee was away for games there were times in my life where I thought "what would I do"if he did go away for 6 mths don't get me wrong I knew I would be OK because I did before he had come into my life it was just the thought of not having him there with only 1mth left before the season would be over and not knowing what his future had planned for him I wasn't sure if we would remain together meaning with Dee having to relocate to a different city and me having my Life here in Cleveland I was unsure about our relationship you know that long distance thing but Dee had surprise me one night after coming home from dinner no we didn't live together we just "co-lived" is my definition of a couple being together but not Living together he thought this was Funny as hell he would always laugh when I make my own words up out of no where but that was me doing me kinda like keeping our relationship fun I guess.Blog you later !

Lets take a step back.

Im going to back up a little bit here kinda like rewind my blog you know, give a reason for my blogs so you can understand a little bit of where Im coming from Sometimes I wounder if I made a bad decision as far as giving my virginity away to a pro baller don't get me wrong it wasn't what you all maybe thinking so dont judge me until you have walked in my shoes.Im no groupie nor am I what some seem to call Jump-offs/Side Kicks just a girl in my opinion in the right place at the right time meaning just for a moment in my life I had finally found someone to love me.The moment Dee came into my life I knew it was going to be diffrent not sure how diffrent I just knew diffrent in away that my life would take a total change in the right/wrong direction but in a good way So young and scared so inexperienced did'nt know how he would take to me or my life style.He was so use to the fast life you know drinking the many diffrent women that flowed freely in and out he's life just because of who he was. Diffrent city diffrent girl he had the money fame and thats what draw the women his way Not sure if this was his life but we all know at some point we seem to misjudge athletics as being male whores.I was never blinded by Dee's fame never blinded by Dee's money like I had stated in my other blogs I didnt know he was a football player at first not until 2-3 mths into the relationship.So what Im saying is when Dee and I agreed to end the relationship we very much stayed close only because the relationship ended on good terms he wanted a stay at home girlfriend  I wanted my career just as he did football.Nursing is and forever will be my life I love taking care of the sick this is my calling just as fooball is and will always be Dee's. I just hope the next man I meet  is very understanding that I didn't waste 2 yrs of my life to became a Cardiology Nurse to just be a stay at home wife/girlfriend Its been 2 yrs now that we had ended our relationship and since then I have remained single am just afraid that I 'll never find anyone to love me for who I am but sometimes being alone gets the best of me.