Well I'm back to blogging I know it's been awhile since my last blog almost a year has gone by so much as happened to me in that time.Me finding myself to me trying to be there for everyone else to being everyone life support system My mom had a stroke to her going though open heart surgery to me being the Mother to my Lil brothers"twins" 12yrs old my Lil sister 11yrs my father then my older brother 40 I love my family with all my heart but I wanted my life I wanted to hang out with friends I wanted to go on dates but my family was so use to having my mom there that I was left to pick up where my mom had left off.I was force to get a second job it felt as if I was robbed of my life10mths later my mom got herself together I got my life back and now here I'm back to blogging again

He Choose Me

I knew I had to do what ever it took to keep my relationship together and strong I knew deep in my heart that it wasn't Dee with the problem it was me Yes, I will be the first to say I have a problem.The problem was I didn't know how to love I didn't know how to be the women he needed me to be Growing up as a child my family never...never showed any type of emotions toward us when I say emotions there were no I Love You before going to bed there were no I Love You, see you late before going off to school there were no I Love You, with a kiss to let us know everything would be OK.There where no birthday kisses, that were followed by I Love You "baby wit all my heart" So when I got older I didn't know how to return the Love that he had given me Dee was very very patient with me I knew it was eating away at him.I never told him that certain things in my life that he had as a child I never had.But he managed to put up with me as long as he did because he had already known that I loved.The one thing that I did tell him was that he was the only one in my life that I had ever heard tell me that they Love me...

Hard times

There were times in my life where i just felt like giving up like I couldn't go on it felt like the world was against me felt like everything that I had worked for was taken away from me My relationship failed me my family failed me so whats left, There where time where I thought that ending my life was much better then being here on earth that if I died no one would miss me that all my problems would be over But I though about the people that love me the people that really loved me How would they take to me killing myself would they blame them self.My parents heart would be broken who would they be able to move on without me.Sister who would she turn to to talk to Brother he would have any boys to run away from me those were the small things that I thought about that made me rethink about my life that made me rethink what would I do if I didn't have them to love me the way they did.It was a special kind of love a special kind of love that no one would understand but us

To my dear future husband "My Promise to you..."

I Dawn Lewis promise to love you unconditionally I promise to stand by your side in good and bad times I promise to always be there in your time of need no matter what the situation is I'm there, I promise to be your best friend,lover and that Lil freak you need at night.(L.O.L) I don't ask much of you just understand that I've been hurt before so please take my feelings into consideration before hurting. I want you to decide is it worth hurting me,what do you expect to gain from hurting me and what would you do if someone did the same to you how would you feel.I understand that your not the man that hurt me so I promise not to blame you for his past mistakes I know you can not fix his mistake just promise me that you will not make the same mistakes as he did.I love to cook so you will always have a meal waiting for you on your arrival home.

I'm the type of girl that likes to have my own so respect the fact that I love my job I refuse to be a stay at home mom or wife my job is as important to me as your job is to you so please understand this.I love hanging out with family&friends and love spending special moments together sleeping in if we don't have to work.If I see that your having a stressful day at work or stressful day period I will try my best to take that heavy load that you carry that day.I believe in communication without this then there's no relationship When in dough of something please communicate with me so if there is any problems we will fix them before it destroy us.

No disrespect to you never will I do that Just a word of advice I never had any one take care of me or do nice things for me so if I push you away I'm sorry I grew accustomed to do for myself. Love, not sure what this is any more I mean I know what it is growing up the word love was never introduce in our home I knew my family loved me because it was felt but for someone other then my family  I never had it Love that is.The reason why I say this is I though I found someone to love me thought it was a wonderful thing but that all came to an end Being in love I shouldn't have to cry I shouldn't feel afraid nor should I have to put on this happy face and pretend every things OK I shouldn't have to live with regrets of not knowing the person I grew in love with

I promise to be the one that put a smile on your face daily I promise to be the one you love coming home to I promise to make our home a warm home to come home to :) Could this be you that prove me wrong could you be the one that show me that there is Love and that someone can love me once again 6/2009