On Being Independent

My life with him was wonderful I had everything a girl could every want  for the first time in my life I had someone who really cared for me.Before ? came in to my life I felt like I didn't belong like I was always out of place with the world I felt that no one could ever Love me  if they did what reason would they have I'm not sure if its because growing up I never heard those woods or if it was just me I know within my relationship with ? I had made things hard for him don't get me wrong its was in a good way at least from my point of view but as I look back now I fully understand where ? was coming from There were times were I didn't let him do is part you know the man taking care of his girl  for an example on my birthday he had brought me my very first car.  Before he come into my life and me finding out what he did for a living my dream car at that time was this Grand Am you know simple something that I could afford I would go by the dealer's every now and again just to get a look at what would soon be mine only had 1 more paycheck coming before I knew it I had enough for the down payment long story short 2 weeks later went to go make the payment  there was ? standing there with the keys in his hand, yellow bow on the car(yellow) my fave color I should have jump for joy because my man had brought me my 1st car but guess what I didn't feel that way maybe I'm wrong but I felt betrayed don't ask why I just did  The reason why is because everyone that was in my life that had ever did anything for me always reminded me of what they had done for me always telling me "if it wasn't for me you wouldn't had this or that" so from that point on I never asked anyone for anything if I couldn't afford it it must have not been met for me to have Don't get it twisted I'm not to proud to ask for help just don't want to be reminded of it that's all.When I ask ? why did he buy the car for me he said "I just wanted to do something nice for you can I do that for my Girl" Once again I felt special but guess what I didn't keep the car I gave it back only because this was something that I wanted to do for myself I didn't want our relationship to end  and ? ask for the car back we all know relationships start off good only because we're trying to make our self look good come on we all have done it a time or too.Another reason why I guess I felt I needed to do everything on my own I had never had a boyfriend in my life I understood the meaning of being in a relationship I just felt as if I needed to do for myself because if I didn't no one would. Now on the other hand my parents took good care of us did whatever needed to be done to care and provide for use but outside of that I always did for self. Blog you later on 3/30/2010

On Staying Together

Yes we stayed together our relationship lasted almost 3 yrs.During that time he had come to grips that my job was as important to me as football was to him The first time that ? told me he loved and cared for me I didn't fully understand how to take it Since I could remember, no one had ever spoken those words to me not my mom not my dad for that matter nor my brother or sister.I know my family loved me because it showed in the things that they had done for me but the words" I Love You"  were never spoken in our home so when someone tells you this for the first time in your life your not sure how to take it I understood that he loved me I understood the meaning of love but what I didn't understand was how can someone grow to love me I came from a different world then he did we both had two different life styles but he didn't let that stand in the way of how he cared for me.? always told me how different I was that I was special I never understood his reasons so I grew my own conclusion you see.. I was a virgin I never told him  Yes I said virgin you read right I just didn't know how to say those words to him "I'm a Virgin" so when the time did come for us to take our relationship up to the next level I still didn't tell him he found out on his own that night so I guess that's what made me different I don't know I'm just saying.That night was special not just because of what just happen it was the way he held me in his arms I knew I was right where I needed to be and that was in his world.During the time we dated none of my friends knew who I was dating they knew I was dating but just didn't know who I just didn't want them to come my way looking for handouts.When ? had to leave for away games he would always make sure I was OK meaning as far as bills but that didn't impress me I say this  because I was taking care of bills before he come along I didn't need him for that it was nice but wasn't a big deal that he took care of things before he went away

Part 2 of 1 Crazy side kicks

I had accompanied ? to many sport events,games, Charity events dinner you name it we done it I wasn't one of those women that needed to be validated on whom I was just because of whom I was with.Lets talk about the media Wow ! its funny how they can help build your career and help end it at a drop of a dime So for those men out there that say "Real men Don't Cry" that's a damn lie ? was all man there were times where I did witness him cry.I've learned that being in the media you have those moments when you sit back look at your life and say" why me I'm not the person they making me out to be" there's not a damn thing you can do about it Its all about being or trying to be a role model but get caught up in the hype of it all and get mislabeled but you just have to raise above it all is what I use to tell him.Our relationship wasn't always perfect sweet but not always  perfect now don't get it twisted I was very much happy he always made sure of that but the one thing that we always fought about was the fact that I was independent I had my own I didn't need he's I wasn't the one to take advantage of a person because of what they had or whom they were I always had a job. When I met ? I was and still am til this day work full time at a local Hospital here in Cleveland ? was the type of person who felt I didn't need to work he wanted me to quite the job that I had come to love.I remember the time I had told him that I had finally quite my job He was so happy that in return he had surprise me with a week vacation on a cruise I must have been the happiest women on earth because I never been anywhere let alone on a cruise but at the same time I felt bad because I had lied I never did quite my job I just went from full-time to part time I just thought "shit he'll never know"because he was always on the road playing ball That's when my little white lie came back to haunt me. Part 3 coming to a blog site nearest you March 27 2010 "The outcome of my little white Lie, Did we remain in a relationship or did we end it blog in to see what happens" til then blog you later !

Crazy Jump Off's

Could anyone please tell me why these crazy Jump Off/Side-Kicks what ever you want to call them get into a relationship or even sex relationship with a married man  Famous person for that matter.Look at Tiger Woods now Sandra and her husband these women know right from jump what they're getting into.I'm not taking up for the men here because they to know right from wrong I blame them as much as the women they encounter. I guess you can say I use to be a side kick/ jump off but I knew how far to go and how far not to go What I mean by that is I didn't take our so called relationship to serious meaning I knew that the man I was dealing with may have had other women just as myself At that time it didn't matter because I wasn't trying to end his career.Am 26yrs old now, at the time I was 22 I had got into a relationship with a well-know football player not sure if he was married with a family or not there was no ring(but we all know a ring can be removed at any giving time) I'm not going to reveal his name because even though we are not together we have a very close friendship At the time I had no idea he was a ball player I met him here in my hometown "Cleveland" at a local downtown night club When he approached me his name didn't mean anything to me I just thought he was just like any other guy in the club picking up random girls.He didn't take notice at first to me not knowing whom he was until one day he had a away game told me to watch the game for him and to make sure I record it for him that's when I noticed him running across the field.During our 2yr relationship never did I ask ? for anything I was so use to the fact that there was no silver spoon in my mouth use to the fact that I had worked hard to get the things that I wanted When I looked at him I didn't see dollar signs nor did I see what I can gain from this relationship.I saw a warm kind hearted person the fame the money all that wasn't what I was about that was his time not mine. As a girlfriend,sidekick or jump-off what ever you want to call me I knew when to step back and let him shine I knew when to step up and do my part. "Part 2" coming soon to a blog site nearest you March 26 2010