Silent Cries

I use to wounder what my life would have been if I had lived a normal childhood what I mean by normal I mean where I didn't have to look over my shoulders all the time thinking who's going to hurt me or protect me or next time would my parents be able to notice when something was wrong with me I spent so much time blaming myself for what was going on in my life thinking I was to blame for my Auntie's boyfriend robbing me of my childhood why he had taken something so special away from me that I wanted to share only with my future husband so many mix emotions not knowing where to start with such a heavy load for a young child to carry around I didn't know what to do with myself.I remember "Uncle Evil Villain" (is what I called him)telling me the reason why he did what he did was because I was the "misfit child"that no one wanted me or loved me but him and when people love each other that's what they do for each other. I knew what he was doing was wrong I just didn't know how to go about telling someone As a child my parents never told us about strangers they never told us what to do if and when someone touched us in away that didn't feel right so how was I to know right from wrong if it was never discuss with us.Just the thought of him I often vomit but he didn't care cause he would still climb on top of me and have his way with me til I  pass out from the pressure of his heavy hands around my neck when I awake i would find myself in my bed in my pj's on so no one would notice what was going on I prayed to god a lot those days but he failed me cause all those times I would wish him(Uncle Evil Villain) dead but he would still wake the next day just to make me do things I never should have done or things he should have been doing with my Auntie. I often wrote during those times I would be alone with him wishing someone would come save me but no one did :(


Alone in a world with a voice that goes unheard
The pain I feel for you have never felt
My cries for help goes unheard
The scars you see are mistaken for falls I never had
The smile you see is an upside down frown I try to hide
The dreams I have are nightmares of you that haunt me night after night