Looking ahead

The championship games was coming faster then I had expected I was beging to see less and less of Dee but I had got use to this because his career had required most of his time I understood that so I didn't complain I was more happier when he had home games because thats when we spent the little time we had with eachother those are the times I cherish the most. I remember telling Dee that he was full of himself that he better not take things for granted.2004 my baby did his thing February 1st Reliant Staudium in Houston that was the teams moment they did it I was so proud of him and the team.The media was crazy lights,camera,Tv interviews e.t.c they had taken my man away from me but it was worth it.Things had began to slow down we were making plans to take a long overdue much needed vacation just to see where we stood with eachother and to get a better understanding of ourself with our realationship.Not sure where I wanted to vacation since I never been much outside of Cleveland Dee decided that we should go to Jamaica we stay for 1week the hotel was wounderful never seen anything like this in my life I told Dee if he keeps it up he would spoil a girl  I wouldn't know how to act his reply to that was "I know thats what am trying to do" I just smile and kiss him.Dee pampered me from head to toe it was specail because I had never met anyone in my life that was so into me. The vacation was soon coming to an end I didn't want to leave Jamaican villa (Las Palmas) Dee said if I wanted he would make arrangment for a couple more days but I knew we had to return to the states Dee had meetings and charity events that awaited him once we returned so I refused the offer.Dee and I kept our promise once we made it back to the states he took care of his meeting and events then we went to our Relationship class...Blog later

Its been a year since I decide to end the life of my child I'm not going to sit here and say unwanted child  she/he was very much wanted I was at a time in my life where I wasn't able to give a child the attention that they needed In my last post Dee and I weren't getting along and I wasn't sure if our relationship was going to stand this test Dee wanted to be a father so bad but at the same time I was thinking of his career as mine.I didn't want him to feel trapped for 18yrs meaning most ball players hook up with the wrong women she trap's him with the words "I'm  pregnant" he's trap she earns a fast ass bank account for the next 18yrs.But for me I had my own I didn't need Dee's money may have not been as much as he earned but I got by I didn't go without just leave it as that.I was different I knew I was because Dee often reminded me of this I must amit it felt good knowing that he looked at me in a different way that he thought I was special then most girls he had dating.Maybe it was because I was independent maybe because I never really ask for anything maybe because I didn't take him for granted or could it have been I didn't see him as my personal A.T.M. with the words "use as you wish"tatted across his forehead.

It had taken Dee sometime to excepted the fact that I had ended the life of our child In the back of my mind I regret what I've done but I can't take it back Dee and I soon but our difference behind us and began to work on our relationship it bothered me a bit when Dee ask me if I wanted to go to a couple's  counseling in the back of my mind I thought I had lost the man I grew to love and he had falling out of love with me punishing for ending the pregnancy "Sure I'll go when do we start? after the championship games is when we will go I really want us to get though this I really want to spend the rest of my life with you but I got to know if this is really what you want too is what he replied...... Blog later