Its been a year since I decide to end the life of my child I'm not going to sit here and say unwanted child  she/he was very much wanted I was at a time in my life where I wasn't able to give a child the attention that they needed In my last post Dee and I weren't getting along and I wasn't sure if our relationship was going to stand this test Dee wanted to be a father so bad but at the same time I was thinking of his career as mine.I didn't want him to feel trapped for 18yrs meaning most ball players hook up with the wrong women she trap's him with the words "I'm  pregnant" he's trap she earns a fast ass bank account for the next 18yrs.But for me I had my own I didn't need Dee's money may have not been as much as he earned but I got by I didn't go without just leave it as that.I was different I knew I was because Dee often reminded me of this I must amit it felt good knowing that he looked at me in a different way that he thought I was special then most girls he had dating.Maybe it was because I was independent maybe because I never really ask for anything maybe because I didn't take him for granted or could it have been I didn't see him as my personal A.T.M. with the words "use as you wish"tatted across his forehead.

It had taken Dee sometime to excepted the fact that I had ended the life of our child In the back of my mind I regret what I've done but I can't take it back Dee and I soon but our difference behind us and began to work on our relationship it bothered me a bit when Dee ask me if I wanted to go to a couple's  counseling in the back of my mind I thought I had lost the man I grew to love and he had falling out of love with me punishing for ending the pregnancy "Sure I'll go when do we start? after the championship games is when we will go I really want us to get though this I really want to spend the rest of my life with you but I got to know if this is really what you want too is what he replied...... Blog later