Lets take a step back.

Im going to back up a little bit here kinda like rewind my blog you know, give a reason for my blogs so you can understand a little bit of where Im coming from Sometimes I wounder if I made a bad decision as far as giving my virginity away to a pro baller don't get me wrong it wasn't what you all maybe thinking so dont judge me until you have walked in my shoes.Im no groupie nor am I what some seem to call Jump-offs/Side Kicks just a girl in my opinion in the right place at the right time meaning just for a moment in my life I had finally found someone to love me.The moment Dee came into my life I knew it was going to be diffrent not sure how diffrent I just knew diffrent in away that my life would take a total change in the right/wrong direction but in a good way So young and scared so inexperienced did'nt know how he would take to me or my life style.He was so use to the fast life you know drinking the many diffrent women that flowed freely in and out he's life just because of who he was. Diffrent city diffrent girl he had the money fame and thats what draw the women his way Not sure if this was his life but we all know at some point we seem to misjudge athletics as being male whores.I was never blinded by Dee's fame never blinded by Dee's money like I had stated in my other blogs I didnt know he was a football player at first not until 2-3 mths into the relationship.So what Im saying is when Dee and I agreed to end the relationship we very much stayed close only because the relationship ended on good terms he wanted a stay at home girlfriend  I wanted my career just as he did football.Nursing is and forever will be my life I love taking care of the sick this is my calling just as fooball is and will always be Dee's. I just hope the next man I meet  is very understanding that I didn't waste 2 yrs of my life to became a Cardiology Nurse to just be a stay at home wife/girlfriend Its been 2 yrs now that we had ended our relationship and since then I have remained single am just afraid that I 'll never find anyone to love me for who I am but sometimes being alone gets the best of me.