So Confuse

I had so much weight on my shoulders it was such a heavy load I really Love Dee and would do anything not to hurt him but I also had to think of myself as well Dee and I weren't married he's a well known football player Being with a football player,basketball player tennis player for that matter any athlete had its ups and down meaning there are a lot of time when the couple are away from one another there are so many days/nights spent away from home We had a wonderful relationship I to had a lot going for myself I just didn't think me bringing a kid into my world right now was good the timing was all wrong I knew I couldn't give a baby all the attention that he/she would need I didn't want to be one of those moms that wasn't involved in the 24hr care of her child I didn't want any nanny raising my child I didn't want the care of some baby sitter caring and bounding with my New Born.On the other hand Dee had no idea that I felt this way I was so more afraid to tell him that I didn't want the baby then him going to jail.There I was getting ready for work when the phone rang it was Dee, it was sweet music to my ears when I heard those words "I got off baby we did it baby we did it" what do you mean we did it I replied the judge give me probation with a fine that's wonderful Boo see you when you get home" Love You" all the while am thinking of ways to tell him that I want an abortion that the timing was all wrong to have a baby.I was cooking dinner when Dee returned home with a welcome kiss that was followed by a huge Dee knew something was wrong I figure I had better tell him "better now then never right ?Blog you later